Every so often, I become interested in looking for love. I reopen the dating apps, and start swiping; rediscovering myself by noticing who I am looking for,
This most recent search got me thinking about the idea of a soul mate. Do I believe in a soul mate? I'm not sure. I am a romantic at heart, so I absolutely dreamed of finding a soul mate. But do I believe they exist?
As much as I am a romantic, I am also analytic. If I want to know whether or not I believe in soul mates, I need to first know what I'm believing in. What is the definition of a soul mate?
There is the typical, or popular, or superficial view of the soul mate : THE ONE. The one you can't live without. The one you will love for the rest of your life, and beyond. The one who fulfills your life.
The longer I live, the less likely this seems.
I have loved many people. I'm not sure if I can really say that I no longer have love for any of those people, though I may not be in love with them anymore. Many have DEEPLY hurt me. Yet, they have all revived my soul in some way or another. But, I wouldn't describe any of them as soul mates.
So then, what other definitions exist?
A person who, when you meet, if you meet, has a profound connection to you. A connection that is unlike any other. Another part of the same soul; the same spirit.
I recently picked back up reading A History of Magic, Witchcraft & Occultism by W.B. Crow. In it, I was reminded of the idea of reincarnation. I read about generations of religious leaders, separated by death, and believed to be the continuation of the same soul. I don't know if this is true, but it is consistent with my beliefs about life.
I asked myself, what if this was true?
If you were the reincarnation of someone specific, how would you know? How would that feel? How could you discover your past life?
I find that my relationship to the universe is pretty good and fairly direct. When I ask for signs, I usually receive them. If I am able to focus my intentions, I can draw opportunities to myself. The universe always provides.
Before bed, I asked to learn who may have lived my past life, I had recently been reminded of the power of intention through watching a video entitled, "Grant Morrison on Chaos Magic, the occult & Sigil creation". Many of the experiences he described of writing something down and having it materialize in your life, are ones I've experienced. Ask the universe, and it will deliver an answer.
I expected this to come to me in my dreams, if at all. I thought it didn't work. But then, I found myself on YouTube, watching a video of J. Krishnamurti speaking to an audience about sex, creativity and freedom,
I was captivated. At first, I thought he was an old woman. I began to identify with her. I noticed that some of my features were similar, but younger.
Then I realized this was a man. He was very old and spoke very slowly and with lots of silence. Contemplative silence. Meaningful silence. The more I listened, the more I felt he was speaking from a perspective and with a voice that mirrored my own inner monologue. The thoughts and ideas I develop privately. My inner world. I felt that somehow, he was speaking my truth.
I started to check out his Wikipedia page and the more I discovered about him, the more similarities I found. Different times and places in the world. Different bodies and identities. Yet, somehow similar enough to feel like my own.
Yesterday had a particular trajectory to it. It began in frustration and errors and correction and emotional collapse. Slowly, through help of others, I was brought back to a much better place emotionally. I spoke with a few others who had similar trajectories.
Life is patterns on patterns on patterns. Phases, cycles, repetitions. The more I study astrology, the more patterns I see in planetary influences over certain times and places. Repetition. Phases. Cycles.
I think we are all essentially part of the same spirit. The end of each lifetime allows us the opportunity to rejoin that spirit in unity. If we choose, we may return to earth in a new form. This is what I believe.
If spirit is a material, and we separate from that material, and then rejoin it and separate again and so on, is it always the same piece of material? That is what reincarnation suggests. I don't know if I believe this.
Maybe it's real, maybe it isn't. Can a soul mate be of a different time? Can it be beyond romanticism? Is a reincarnated person the soul mate to their previous life? Is this stretching the term too far?
I checked his death date. A couple years before my birth date. If reincarnation exists, this timeline might make sense.
However, if there is no division between self and other, one soul and another...then, aren't we all soul mates? Aren't we all rebirths of the same soul? Why should we love or connect with one part over another?
I've been listening to the audio book, The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor. I'm only on Chapter 3, but I know more or less what I'm getting myself into. Loving yourself has to be RADICAL. It has to go right to the root. It has to change the foundation. This is a journey towards fully, enthusiastically, and completely LOVING yourself, 100%.
To extend this journey outward, it makes sense to love your soul in its entirety, as well, And if we are all part of the same soul, we must work to radically love everyone who shares the same soul. That includes every person who exists. That includes the whole of spirit.
I'm fairly pagan-minded and I believe that there is spirit in nature, in all of existence. There is a unity that includes the universe and every part of it. To practice radical self love, I also have to practice loving every part of the universe. Enthusiastically loving and celebrating all of it.
Do not demand love. Be love.